One of my best friends from high school, Emily E., is getting married this weekend and I couldn't be more excited. And it's Kelsey's 18th birthday. And it's Thanksgiving. And I'm not coming back to school for Monday and Tuesday of class. Things are looking UP!
I did go running yesterday. But Elizabeth and my sisters are still going to kick my butt in that 8K on Thanksgiving morning...
I called mom yesterday while walking to class. "I just want to leave here and never come back," I blurted out. I stopped, surprised at myself, not really sure where that statement came from: I wasn't even prepared for it. I've never felt that way about this place before. She was surprised, too; usually I'm peppy. Usually I'm delighted with this university. I don't get dissatisfied with my current position in life. That's just not me. "Wha... honey, what what do you mean?" She stammered. "I don't know; I'm just so sick of it all. I want to come HOME." But the feeling slides back to wherever it came from. Gradually. I don't even know what I would do if I didn't come back here. I just didn't want to be here. But it gets better. Pockets of sunshine, you know?
How nice it would be to sit back and let somebody else row.
I like being a low-ranking faux journalist. The Daily Tarheel is an exciting place to be.
"Why does journalism have to be so cold? Le sigh."--Eva, in a recent letter
When I walk around this campus, I want to stop people and say, Tell me your secret sorrow. Tell me about the things I can't read in your face. I want to know; I care! I care!
I tried rewriting the 10 commandments yesterday. Not rewriting as in creating new ones, but in rewording to draw out the meaning. Since I've been studying Exodus, it was very helpful to realize that God has high standards. And it's not just that He wants us to live moral lives; He wants us to live in a way that honors Him, so any moral behavior that we exhibit should flow from that intrinsic desire to honor God. Most of the time, it's hard to believe that it's not just a list of rules, but this exercise helped point me in the direction of original intent.
I've been receiving lots of random hair comments lately. Usually positive ones. But I'm not really sure why, because I'm frustrated with my hair. It does not possess any variability. It's curly and either long or somewhat long. That's about it. I have random fleeting urges to shave it.
I am going HOME tomorrow...