let me not be my own life

I am happy, but restless. I am trying to remember that there is joy and contentment to be found even here, even in the absence of Guion and my family. All the letters and cards I've received, however, have certainly helped.

"Let me not be my own life: badly have I lived from myself: I was death to myself: in you I live again." -- St. Augustine

My hike on Tuesday to Herman's Gulch with Reid and Sonya has been my favorite hike all summer. It was just the perfect day. You can see the photos on Fbook or the video of Reid reading to use from "The Idiot" at the lake.

Driving home after documentary night (at Sean, Reid and Josh's; we watched Madonna's film on Malawi, "I Am Because We Are," in honor of Sean, who is leaving for Malawi today!), I was stopped at a light when I happened to look in the windows of a diner across the street. A man and a woman were on a date, sitting across from each other in a booth. She was wearing a red dress and he was in a white polo. She was leaning in, bent over the table, and gesturing with her hands and he was sitting back, straight, his head held up, almost looking over her. And I thought--and so much as said to myself--"Ah, she's much more interested in him than he is in her. But I hope it turns out. I hope they will be happy."

Finished "The Confessions" and the collected poems of Anna Akhmatova and have started Novella Carpenter's "Farm City: The Education of an Urban Farmer." It's confirmed everything Claire has told me about Oakland and Berkeley so far. "Everyone there is crazy," she told me. "And I was wondering why that was the case, but then I realized that people who--in, say, Boston or Denver--would not be crazy, see all of these strange people in Berkeley and think, 'Hm, maybe I'll become crazy, too!' And that's why it's an epidemic."

Things I want to do when I come back to Carolina:

Get a bike
Outfit that bike with a basket/crate
Buy "The Joy of Cooking" and try to make at least one recipe a week
Join Eric and Emily's small group
Join FLO
Bike to the farmers' market every Saturday
Grow herbs
Keep taking yoga classes
Write lots of letters
Become a true friend to my housemates

Pancakes and craft morning tomorrow at Christa's! I'm so excited.

Less than a month! And Jonathan (happy 21st, by the way) will be here in 11 days!